When I
think about important people in my life three people come to mind and by
coincidence they all happen to be women; my grandma Mary, my mom Sandra, and my
wife Frances. Each is unique in their own way.
My
grandma Mary has been the teacher in my life. When I was three years old she and
my grandfather began taking care of me and my brother because my parents weren’t
able to. Grandma began teaching me how to cook when I was very young, maybe
about nine or so. She thought if I learned how to cook I would never starve. I
learned how to cook full course meals and I was and still am good at it. Even
after twenty-nine years my wife is still amazed at how well I cook. I also
learned how to clean and do laundry. She didn’t want me to have to depend on anyone
to do it for me. Besides the basic things such as right from wrong, she taught
me how I should treat a lady. She wanted me to be a gentleman at all times. She
expected me to open the door for a lady, never use foul language when in a
woman’s presence and that sort of stuff. I think I did well by her. Of course
there are many important things about her but being a teacher is just one of
them.
My mom
Sandra is important not just because she is my mom but because she showed me
people can change. When I was just a toddler she got into a life of crime and
drugs and ended up in prison. Even when she finally got it drugs were still a
problem for her. I was in my late teens already by the time she got out so she
really didn’t have the opportunity to resume parenting. I saw her going down
the same path that landed her in prison in the first place and then all of a
sudden she wanted no more of that life. She cut off all ties to the people who
were toxic in her life. She quit her drug use and started to become a positive
influence on me and my brother. She got a job and eventually remarried. She’s
still married to my stepdad and only recently had to stop working because of
health issues. Her life went from one extreme to another and when it was my
turn to decide to quit using drugs, I looked to her. I knew if she could change
so could I and I did.
Lastly,
my wife Frances has been an important part of my life because she is my heart;
she keeps me on an even keel. When you see us together you could see we are
complete opposites of each other; I’m loud and boisterous while she is quiet
and demure. But even while being demure she is a strong woman. She stuck by me
through my days of drug addiction and life of crime. She believed in me even in
the most trying of times. She pretty much raised our kids all by herself
because I was always locked up or running around in the streets. And she did a
great job. Our kids, thank God, grew up to be responsible adults. Both have
professional careers just like their mom. My wife reminds me that I too deserve
to be happy in life. She inspires me every day.
